Singleness

by Kathleen Hardaway

Embrace the Season

I’ll never forget the day I was out shopping and my cell phone rang. It was my mother on the other end. I knew by the sound of her voice she had bad news. All I heard was, “He may not make it.” And unfortunately he didn’t.

As family and friends gathered together for the funeral, I was so happy to see cousins of mine whom I’d not seen in a while. Despite the fact that two of them had just started brand new jobs they interrupted their lives, jumped on a plane, and came hundreds of miles to be there just for us. As I finally got a chance to briefly talk to them, I asked, “When do you have to leave?” “In thirty minutes.” “You’ve got to be kidding!”—but no, it was true. With that short time, I wanted to spend every second I had with them, look them straight in the eyes, talk with them and find out how life was going with them. In every way possible, I wanted to embrace the moment.

It had been a long time since I felt such a strong desire to stop the clock. How quickly people come in and out of our lives. How short life can seem. And whether you’re married or single, there is still heartache and disappointment. Loved ones will come and go and, as much as most of us don’t want to admit it, we’re all getting older and will someday die. There’s something about funerals that slow us down and cause us to stop and examine ours lives. How are you living?

If you keep doing what you’re doing today, where will you be ten years from now? As singles, there is a tendency to put life on hold, waiting for that day you finally walk the aisle, when that ring goes on your finger, when you say, “I do.” Then, you think, life will truly begin.

Your desire to marry is very natural and normal. In many ways I believe God made us this way. But what are you doing today? Embrace every moment you have—now.

Life is full of wonderful and terrific opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. Don’t stop dreaming. Don’t stop seeking God for His divine appointments. Live life with moments that take your breath away. Don’t live your life “on hold.”

Stop and enjoy a beautiful sunset, the ocean, the mountains, the moon, the stars, a rainbow. Embrace the Creator of the universe. Embrace the beauty of His creation, His magnitude, His greatness, His love. Embrace life, knowing God has a plan even when you don’t always understand it or see it. Embrace His Word when life doesn’t make sense.

God says He has a plan, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, a plan to give you a hope and a future. Call upon Him and pray. Seek Him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:11-13). Don’t lose heart! Keep believing God no matter what disappointments come. Have you had another relationship fall apart? I understand. Press on!

When life is frustrating, He remains faithful. When you’re tired of waiting, He remains constant. When you’re sick and tired of being single, embrace your freedom.

* Exercise when you like.
* Go on a vacation when you like.
* Change the thermostat how you like.
* Invite friends over when you like.
* Watch the programs you like.
* Change the channels when you like.
* Spend your money how you like (according to God’s principles).
* Go to the movies you like (according to God’s standards).
* Eat the food you like. (Keep it healthy.)
* Dress the way you like. (Keep it wholesome.)
* Go to bed when you like. (Keeping it healthy.)
* Go to the church you like (by God’s direction).
* Work in the ministry you like (by God’s direction).

If you marry, the above list may dramatically change. Your freedom changes to a commitment to another. Your desire is to please your mate. Marriage would add a wonderful new set of things you may be able to do, but don’t forget the things you would lose.

Today can you embrace your singleness? Consider all the wonderful opportunities you’ve been given. Live it, love it, enjoy it, and embrace it!

May God fill you with His great joy! Embrace the moment!


“You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

—Psalm 16:11

Living Life to the Fullest as a Single Woman

Sheryl Soukotta

As a single woman it’s easy for me to feel all alone even in a crowded room of many other singles. But I’m determined not to let it get the better of me. There’s more to life than men, and by focusing on those other things, I’m maximizing my life as a single woman. Here are my suggestions for living that life.

Know who you are - One of my favorite verses is in Zephaniah 3:17 which says, “He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” When we get a picture of just how precious we are to God, we can’t help but enjoy life. Life is worth living because He is worth living for.

When we get to the “I should be married by now” stage, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others. But God created you uniquely and He has given you specific gifts that you can use to touch other people’s lives. Don’t wait for God to bring a man into your life to “complete” you. You are already complete if you are a child of God.

You are single today because He wants you to be. There are some things in life that you can only accomplish in this particular season of life.

When God called Moses to speak to Pharaoh about releasing the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He asked Moses to use what was already in his hand, his staff. He didn’t ask Moses to use something he didn’t have.

What's in your hand? What are your strengths? What are the special gifts that God has given you that you could use today to bless somebody?

Have a great support network - "No man (or woman) is an island." I never realized how much I needed good, supportive friends until my recent breakup with my boyfriend. God has brought some wonderful people into my life, all of whom play different roles. I have an accountability friend who keeps me on track by asking me the hard questions, I have a ministry friend who plays a role similar to mine in her church, and I have many friends with whom I can just have fun and be myself.

Have fun - This year on Valentine’s Day, my roommates and I decided we would have a girls' night at our place for all our single friends. We had a lot of fun making the invitations (so much fun that I’ve found a new hobby of making cards!) and planning the menu, decorations and so on.

Of course, we all still have “down” days and we have to allow yourself to go through them. But don’t stay there. Watching soppy love movies or reading romance novels doesn’t help, so stay away from those. Here are some things you could do instead:

• Have a girls’ night
• Enjoy a regular “pamper yourself” day
• Find a hobby
• Aim to meet one new person every week
• Travel
• Attend a women’s conference
• Get some exercise.

Give your hand a go at different things if you’re unsure of your place in God's kingdom. Look for opportunities to serve people and to serve God. In the meantime, if God happens to bring alongside you someone who seems to be running at the same pace and direction as you, that’s awesome! But if not, keep serving anyway. The Bible says that when we get to heaven we will have to give an account for what we did with our time, so let’s make the most of every day.